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The Germaine Files

by Ishani

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1.
Hey! 02:32
2 You think you give a lot, but all you do is take Hey man, give yourself a break! You've gotta let yourself down for your girlfriend's sake Hey man, give yourself a break! Turn around and pick yourself up before you're gone Take my hand, but give it back before the break of dawn You'll just forget 'til you've got nothing left and left and left and left and I'm living underground between the five great lakes Hey man, give yourself a break! I want my house back, but they said I couldn't stay Hey man, give yourself a break! It could be harder, could be harder than you're willing to admit But don't stand down, you should stand up for yourself and take the hit You'll just forget 'til you've got nothing left and left and left and left and Hey mister man, can you hear the buildings shake? Hey man, give yourself a break! The shipping office said that it was our mistake Hey man, give yourself a break! And we're all falling, falling faster than the speed of sound Nine miles a second, I keep trying but I'm losing count I'll kind of miss you but you're less and less and less and less and less and less and less and less to me
2.
The dark calls me softly What can I do but go into its clutches? Little did I know that's where the crux is I stepped back into my own head And I said, 'Is this the future?' Then I realised it was me The wind whistles round me I caught myself a ride upon a brain cell It's a little known fact that they really act as trains there I've traveled from my head to my feet On the way I opened all the cells, and acted peachy keen And I think I might have caused myself a heart attack I'd like to think I gave something useful back But I cannot help but think that it's better out there I'd send my organs admirations, but I don't think they'd care Won't somebody help me? I think I've got a person in my bloodstream I feel them when I'm driving myself upstream I'd settle but it's really uncomfortable Having yourself inside you when you'd rather be out there My eyes shut like curtains I walk when I'm asleep and I can't help it I'd like to look inside me and tell myself that I am selfish I'd ask what I am doing to me And then I'd laugh myself to tears and then I'd cry myself to sleep
3.
I was scared to die so I looked myself in the eye I said I'd write myself a punk song, and I've never felt so brave I took lessons from the creatures and I flipped off all my teachers I thought I was an anarchist, I've never felt so brave I've never smoked a cigarette, I've never been a suffragette I've done plenty that I regret, I've never felt so brave I've waited for the spring to come, I've taught myself to walk and run I've always slept before the sun, I've never felt so brave Every word I ever said was nothing but a cheap regret And every regret I ever had was one step closer to the end And every end I ever attended was disappointing and poorly rendered And every end I ever rendered was even worse, they said I was scared to die so I looked myself in the eye I said I'd do something that scared me and I've never felt so brave I could face me fear of spiders, or of guns, or too much cider I could drink myself into a daze, I've never felt so brave Every drink I swallowed down was short and left me seeing circles And every circle I was in made me drink some more And every drink I swallowed down was cheap and gold and went right through me And all the gold that went right through me left me lying on the floor I was scared to die so I looked myself in the eye I said I'd care for those who cared for me, I've never felt so brave But I've never been so selfish, and I've never had a wish Backfire on me so very badly that I've never felt so brave I've touched everything that I could ever place two hands on And I've burned and maimed and cut myself, I've never felt so brave I don't think it's time to let myself go and I'm crying For the people that can let go, 'cause I'll never be that brave I've never been quite brave enough to lose myself and just give up I am just too scared to die, and find out what's on the other side I leave my research in the hands of those prepared to make last demands From everybody that they know, from everyone who's tried 'Cause everyone I ever met thought they were just a cheap regret And every regret I ever had was one step closer to the edge And every edge I ever jumped over was fleeting and quiet and caked in silver And all the silver in the world couldn't make me numb, they said I was scared to die so I looked myself in the eye I said I'd write myself a punk song and I've never felt so brave I was scared to die so I looked myself in the eye I lost myself in the infinity, I've never felt so brave I was scared to die so I looked myself in the eye I knew I was afraid of everything, I've never felt so brave I was scared to die, so I looked myself in the eye And I admitted to myself, I am nothing I am no one, I am here
4.
Magpies 03:46
Magpies, floating on the island Rows of people, sitting on the fence They talk with their eyes, as if it makes a difference The candlelight shines on the ones standing on the edge As if to say, 'The sun will rise again, And where will you be then?' The morning shines, it shines so bright for you But you still sleep in 'til ten Sitting, sitting on the seafront Jumping off barriers to land in the soft sand The world looks different from here, everything looks a little closer Another one gone through the magnifying glass And though you try, you try your best to fly The sun will keep you down But if you run, the wind will pick you up And kites will wonder how And though you say you're brave enough We don't believe you're capable of showing your face Losing your faith You'll prove them wrong
5.
Whoa man! Would you look outside, that bird thinks he's a dog He's carrying a stick around to convince the world he's higher up He's at the top Hey now! Would you look at that? He's very very young He's got the wrong end of the stick and he's drawing the short straw He's got astigmatism in his eye and he flinches when he gets real shy Because no one invites him round to their breeding grounds just to hang out So he's lonely and he knows that he's the only one So he sits and he sighs and he sings to himself Things are changing if you try You might just find you're strong enough to fly Because you're not a dog and you don't fetch or make those big sad eyes And though you carry sticks Well maybe it has come to this Maybe it's a little twist And maybe it's a, maybe it's a shocker Maybe it's a big surprise for everyone who knows you But they'll all soon come to realise that you are only your own Because without yourself you cannot be more than an empty shell Or a blank face or a glass table waiting for the coaster rings And they will leave their marks And you will be left with heavy scars But at least you know that you are not too scared to sing alone Because if you catch my drift I think you'll find it goes a little bit like this: Be strong and carry on and if you fall you'll fall alone But if you ask us nicely then we might be nice and guide you to Where you wanna go We will take you far away from here You'll disappear At least you know that you are not too scared to sing alone Because if you catch my drift I think you'll find it goes a little bit like this: Be strong and carry on and if you fall you'll fall alone But if you ask us nicely then we might be nice and guide you home 'Cause if you think about the birds that fly We might just learn from the early risers, you and I
6.
Shop Talk 03:08
I'm so angry And I walk with days around me And I take all my pills daily And I listen to nobody I am self assured I am overrated I am tangible I'm saturated by your soul I keep bears In my back gardens And we live in fear Of passing park wardens I am lonely words I'm commemorated I am dotted 'i's I'm saturated by your soul Talk, just let me talk Don't let me speak, don't me Talk, just let me talk, Don't let me talk, don't let me speak, don't let me I'm so angry That my vision's black and blurry I've got all my wits about me And all my organs failing I am curtains drawn I am so frustrated I am written off I feel so outdated I am burning out I'm eviscerated I am beaten down I am saturated by your soul
7.
My eyes tell lies And all my lies are white I will lie between the ivy and the hemlock In wait of the wishbone In wait of the night Don't you listen to me I've been told I'm very easy to mislead And when I hear the nightingale I know that I've been led astray And the distance! How it listens as you walk away I've found myself under attack Though I wander at night I've found worlds in suitcases And I've twisted myself inside out I'm not so certain now It's such an easy way to be Riddled with uncertainty Will we live to see a bang or a whimper? Most uncertainly Be nice to the water And we'll wait and see We're climbing the walls here But we'll wait and see And the front door is still open But where is the key?
8.
I was born an orphan I fought dragons for a living I got money for a killing But they found me too forgiving So they fired my sorry ass And packed my sorry bags and hat And sent me down the River Rhine With a New York Financial Times I looked through all the listings But I really could not find Another job to leave me feeling Even half as satisfied You may say, 'Oh, fighting dragons? That is no big need of mine!' But it's just like cleaning toilets, Watching birds or fighting crime You start with one companion Then you move and multiple Until you're fighting fire And you're fighting ice with ice You might think it's a different medium Just like oak, cherry or cedar But when it comes down to the hearth You'll find you're very much surprised That's why I like fighting dragons Take your fifties, you can have 'em I'll do what I love for free And you can bet I'll save this city You can curse me, you can thank me I'll say 'I love you' just the same And I'll ask to write you letters And I'll ask you for your name That's how I've tended to function Since they left me on my own I collect things that I treasure Like names, addresses and homes And I find it gives more pleasure Than a dragon scale or two 'Cause I'd rather see you on the train And sit down next to you That's how I became a traveler Being a vagrant's so much sadder But I make so many friends And I keep them between my bookends I'd claim to be of interest But I really hate to lie I don't think I could be a traveler 'Cause I hate saying goodbye And everyone I know Says they would hate to see me go So I went back from where I came from Just to say I told them so I was greeted with a welcome Of enthusiasm seldom Mustered by the crowds my hometown makes And sends off row by row Though they haven't fought the dragons They've developed quite a system And for all my weary protests I cannot say that I missed them So I packed my sorry bags and sorry keys and sorry hat And I looked for a new job so I could get out of my head Now I've been through every listing From art to directing Christenings And I've settled for guitar and drums And whistling when I can Though I've never lost my voice I sometimes lose my words by choice For nothing makes me quite as nervous As the judging eyes of man So I guess I'm just a vagrant 'Cause a busker's much more flagrant In the way that he presents himself Along the pavement's side I take my love of fighting dragons And my safety and my bags And I pretend that I have made the laws By which I do abide And I'll keep on singing songs About how I'll never say goodbye

about

this album spans about four years. it was actually meant to be an ep, but i decided it was a great idea to churn out some folk punk songs and slide them on here. it includes songs i made when i was fourteen and songs i made in december (naturally, i've grown to hate them all). see if you can guess which ones are from when. bad production is bad production, it won't give anything away.
in loving memory of germaine hudson (rip, 13/11/2011).

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released January 29, 2013

recording/writing/instruments - ishani

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Ishani London, UK

Catchy & Fun & Sad

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